søndag 31. juli 2016
Sleep Well And U2 Know About Vertigo.
U2 has been one of my favorite bands for years and i have followed them.
Vertigo i understood, but was afraid of the text.
I am kind and knew i could write to Bono and U2.
Yesterday i write to U2 with my own answer on Vertigo and what Bono will need in the future.
It is my own quote :
" Dont show me the money, show me the man. "
It will end corruption if Bono use it and i am still here.
Bono and U2 use a light bowl to promote they`re tour.
Yesterday after i wrote to U2 someone dimmed down the light in my MAC.
It is grey and i dont see well.
Sleep well.
Presence of Beauty.
lørdag 30. juli 2016
fredag 29. juli 2016
Teddy Is Kind Towards His Scared Brother Buster
Teddy is a good hearted little fellow.
He follows me around wherever i am in the house.
He is curious on all things and even helps me washing up the dishes.
He sits next to me at the table when i eat and wants some left overs.
He is funny and plays a lot.
We have had a good day today.
Buster run away today again, but as i darkens outside he started to cry.
I let Teddy go outside to get him in.
He talks to his brother and scare him with playing the big male cat to say :
" If you dont go inside he takes you down. "
Buster was easy to get inside today with Teddys help.
Teddy dont want to be outside, he rolls around in wellbeing and is secure and very comfortable.
It is one of the kindest kittens i have been together with, and he talks to me.
Buster i am a little question if i shall keep because they can start to fight when they get older.
I have to see how it goes during the week.
It is like having babies in the house, they make a mess and i tidy up all the time.
But i am happy i choosed to have cats again.
Animals usually like me a lot, but Buster is a mystery.
He is scared of all things.
But i hope Teddy and me gets him secure and showing him that there is no danger in the house.
Now it is evening here and i clean the house and will go to bed soon.
Teddy sleeps together with me.
The kittens give me energy and helps me out not feeling lonely.
U2 - Vertigo - What Bono Needed
Bono needed the quote : " Dont show me the money - show me The Man :-) Smile :-)
Teddy Loves Us
This is the best picture i have of " Teddy ",
he runs around all the time on his adventure for life at the farm.
I have the outdoor open,
but the kittens will not go out.
They sit in the window,
but Buster is afraid of me looking at him.
I have to look down if he is out from his hiding place under the bed.
Teddy is safe in the building and walks all over the place.
He is very cosy and talks to his brother to get him safe.
torsdag 28. juli 2016
Horses Moves Me In Kindness
I sat on the stairs outside my kitchen and got to see one of the kindest horse i have ever seen.
A family was out walking and a boy bicycled ahead of them and talked to his parents.
Shanti the arabian reacted with awareness and stamina and looked for the little boy.
She wanted to be together with children and was extremely kind.
She made noises and told that she was friendly.
It moved my heart to heal to see this kindness and made my day brighter.
It is incredible how the horses can communicate and save impressions and lives in connecting with humans.
I believe Shanti is one of the kindest horses i have ever met.
Later i went up to the pastures to give him bread.
He was relaxed and thankful of me giving them goodies.
onsdag 27. juli 2016
Norwegian Poem " Lidelse " ( Suffering )
Lidelse
Ingen kjenner sin vei i livet.
Vi er alle modige,
som beveger oss gjennom naturens kraft.
Vi formes av lidelse,
den forteller oss noe om hvem vi er.
Lidelse kan føde oss på ny,
inn i de virkelige drømmer.
De veier som kjærligheten gir oss.
Samme hvor lenge det tar,
og om veien er vanskelig og bratt,
leder lidelse oss til sannhet,
om den vi virkelig er.
Tenn ditt lys i den stille morgen,
og takk for livet i alle stunder.
Motgang kan lede deg til en styrke i deg selv,
som du trodde du aldri skulle finne.
Aftenen forteller oss om dagen som har gått.
Velsignelser i lidelse vil fortelle oss om verden.
Hvem vi bør kjenne og hvem vi ikke bør kjenne.
Livet leder deg ut i livet,
med sorgens perler som du finner på din vei.
Lev alt du kan kjære søster og bror,
dine sønner og døtre er sterkere enn du tror.
I Livets kjærlighet de omfavner deg
og leder deg inn på den sanne vei.
Lev og hold ut.
Mona Kristin Roald
Buster Is Back
Last night i stayed up long to get Buster inside the house.
I sat outside in the dark night and talked to the scared kitten.
He was talking to me and answering me, but did not seem to want inside.
I went to bed and heard noises from a cat very load.
I ran outside and saved Busters life.
A large male cat,
actually the largest cat i have ever seen was outside wanting to chase Buster away.
Buster ran to me and the kitchen stairs, and Teddy talked Buster to go inside.
I wished i had that talk on tape, because Teddy showed with his feets that Buster needed to get inside.
Teddy also pretended to be a large cat, and said to his brother :
" If you dont go inside the male cat will take you down. "
Buster ran inside after this.
Buster and Teddy has slept the whole night and the whole day.
I found out what scared them inside the house,
and that is my though heavy metall loving budgie Happy.
She makes noises at the kittens and try to scare them away.
The kittens are afraid of her.
It is quite a cirkus here when the cats run around.
tirsdag 26. juli 2016
Teddy Is In The Building
Now it is nearly full house and a lot of fun,
Teddy really scared me.
He nearly broke down the window to get in.
He climbed and jumped on the window to get back inside.
The bought cats has understood that they did not were wise when they run off.
Teddy was instantly safe at me and let me pet him and hold him.
He walks around and is happy and relaxed to be inside again.
Buster is lying on the outside, to scared to come in.
But i wait out over the night to get him inside.
He layed right outside the window and was looking in,
so he knows the doorway.
Here is kind.
I have been writing all the evening.
mandag 25. juli 2016
The Book Thieves
You are entitled to think what you want and make sense of the real world.
Everybody has theire own reality and when i educated myself as a nurse i read more books and borrowed a lot of book at the university library.
Under a hospitalization not long ago they stole two books from me i wanted to read under my hospitalization.
This book got stolen and it costed me a fortune.
and also this educative book about how to make change when you see it is needed.
I dont know why they want to steal my reality.
It is not schizophrenic.
And my paranoia make sense and is real.
Somebody do something to me.
I Got A Phone Call From Medical Emergency Telephone
There is much in the life of people getting a diagnose that is wrong.
I talked to my lawyer and he helps me out with problems to solve with my treatment and diagnosis.
I have just had the psychiatric team here and home based nursing.
When they was here the medical emergency phone called me that they had gotten a phone call from the police about a mail i sendt them.
They give me treatment for issues in my case that is real.
I dont understand what the police wanted with me or why they called.
I had help around me and they did not do anything with me.
My life is a pin ball in the system without any relax and always the fear of not living freely.
When Paranoia Makes Sense
I have been treated for mental illness since 2002 and is educated as a nurse. I got to know the health care system and got very worried for all the patients in Norway.
( This has gotten a worry throughout all the world. )
I understood that there were lack of money in the health care services to give the best treatment and i was worried for all the patients not having enough nursing to give them a good life and healing.
I worked with psychiatric treatment also, and all the loneliness i met was breaking my heart.
I started to read a lot about psychiatric and this was before i got ill.
I understood that the nursing provided was not with all given by the law that shall secure people and give them the best optimal treatment. And i understood that many nurses and doctors did not work well and simply did not understand the basics in needs and in treating people to meaning during an illness.
Together with this i had some problems with my love life. I got very fooled by a man and a MC Club and my reality about who this persons were got broken. What i first thought was not right.
A man that i had loved called me crazy and spread rumors about me. This is a very small society and we are small characters in the huge life in this world.
The truth was that i was not crazy but worried for the man if he was mentally ill and suicidal and wanted to save him. I was young and not wise.
I got enough and understood i could not work as a nurse in a system that not is given care within the law. There was to little resources and i decided to get hospitalized.
I got diagnosed with depression in 2002.
And after this i have had eight diagnosis.
It tells me that they dont know what they work with and has not found the cause to the problem.
The problem is people.
I am a very social person that fights for the health care system to provide the best care a human is capable to give.
12 000 people gets sepsis in Norwegian hospitals every year and they need to reduce this number. And i know that many patients could have been saved with the best care a human is capable to give and that it has to be by the law.
This year i found out that many nurses dont know the health care law for health professions.
It got me very worried.
In 2012 i got hospitalized for a reaction i had of the war in Syria and i was broken down. I thought my hospitalization should last for a month and then to a district senter that is an open institution.
Instead i got three years of isolation from the outer world.
And i did not get information in how the world was on the outside
and my family did not tell me what was going on.
I understood something was going on and started to try to make sense and find out what was wrong. Nobody leaded me to the truth and the treatment was against human rights.
As it was for me it looked and felt like torture.
I got a lot of medications and they even gave me pills so i slept for 48 hours without water and food.
This treatment is dangerous and against the law.
They did not tell me what pills it was and by this day i still dont know.
I started to create my own stories on what was going on and it resulted in the diagnose paranoid schizophrenia. The diagnose was created by isolation and the communication i had with health care workers that was not good.
It is a miracle i still live.
When i got out of isolation i found out that much had been going on and that people had done things towards me. My paranoia was against the system and i said :
" If you treat me this way i will die. "
The truth is that i am dying on the treatment i get these days.
I have severe side effects and the doctors dont listen to me, but continue to give me medication that leads me to suicidal thoughts.
I am very kind and has written novels about the treatment and what really happened.
I am not allowed to read my journal because the doctors refuses this by the law and tell me that it is danger for my life in reading my journal.
When the journal is written so it can be danger for a patients life in reading it the law has been broken.
There is laws in how a journal shall be written and what shall be documented on so the health care is the best in the world for a human. The system can give such nursing and medical help if they want to in Norway.
I am very kind and the struggle for others is what keeps me alive.
That one day the law will be placed on the right hands with nurses who really has studied and knows about the medical and the psychiatric field.
I can't write anymore.
But hope that the truth will be heard. They treated a patient with the diagnose " Nurse ".
I have been very angry on not giving communication, hope and meaning to me and other patients and that the truth is that it has costed 50 millions norwegian krone to treat me to wanting to die in-between. It is more money than what i ever would have earned as a full time working nurse for life.
Paranoid schizophrenic am i not.
Only knowing that people hold me down so the truth shall not be heard.
The papers has not wanted to write about me,
and i know people from high places has worked towards me.
I have sendt ideas out to others to make the world a better place and i am heart broken that there is so few nurses that are good and work by the law.
My lawyer is contacting me today for taking my case to Human Right Court in Europe.
As i was sitting writing i got a good laugh.
This chinese crested came into my living room and all the way to me to save me to a good laugh.
Dogs save me out and is not scared of me as the kittens.
I laugh of my little visit of a little friend.
He was on the run and an adventurer.
He got in the house just to say " Hi. "
I am laughing and waiting for medication today.
søndag 24. juli 2016
Teddy And Buster Is In Trouble
Teddy and Busters, my new kittens run off out one window two days ago.
They did not play the game well, because they are more scared outside.
They was not wise in their move in running off.
I have never seen so scared kittens before,
and they have been nervous their whole life.
I thought they would feel secure here at the farm with calm and peaceful housing and nature.
They hide in a little barn and eat and drink well,
but they dont come out before in the evenings and then they lay flat to the ground.
Here is eagles flying above the house sometimes,
it is a wild and powerful coast nature in Norway.
I talked to a friend of mine that had Buster before me, and he was just as scared with her.
She talked me into deliver them back to the mother and the earlier owner.
I will see how it goes for some more days,
and if the kittens are just as scared i deliver them back.
I am so sorry for this, but animals are different in nature.
The kittens was used to be outside,
but they show more fear here at the farm.
I failed in this, but sometimes thing does not work out the way you plan.
The kittens are nearly four months old and has turned the day.
They sleep at daytime and stay up at night.
I sat outside the whole day yesterday to look after them,
and in the evening i could see them outside.
I will look for new kittens that are more socialized in a family.
People Can Change
Every moment is a moment to start over again.
You can do it again and again.
If you fail in starting over again,
remember that there is always life around you.
I have had an toxic reaction to a NSAID medication for my jaw and got seriously ill.
It was talk about bringing me to the hospital, but the doctor there said we should wait and see.
I got better today, but is very slow and exhausted.
Still i start over a new life.
Every day meets you new.
The people in psychiatric units and psychology needs to understand this.
It you are given a diagnose it will not say that it is forever.
There is and should be created room to grow and to transfer.
You and you're inner potential is for you to hold.
Nobody shall tear that down.
Repeating relationships has to be seen at
and why you repeat a behavior towards others.
Study and change.
Everyday change, even for horses.
I walk to the horses every day
and see how the connection is.
Ryvar is making good noises when he sees me.
It takes time to know a person and an animal.
You have to change behavior around all people and animals.
There is no stereo typic way to solve the interaction communication with humans and animals.
You need to be you,
but you can also change.
The common mistake the psychiatric field does is to treat all diagnose equal.
If you get one diagnose
they have a procedure in how you shall be treated.
This is the wrong way and explain why there is so little miraculous healing in the psychiatric health field. They know really to little.
There is individual needs in all patients.
And no one gets better of being locked inside a unit for several months without impressions.
I have good impressions and interact with horses.
There is a new horse at the stable and it is " Shanti ",
the name means " Peace "
and he is a beautiful arabian gelding.
The horses usually relax of me.
I have my peaceful way of being
and starts to take action on repetetive patterns in my life story.
I can change.
I believe that there one day will come a psychiatric development that people can start over new in the psychiatric health field.
And that not they`re main goal is to find a diagnose that harms the patients.
It should have been illegal to put schizophrenia on a person and ruin they`re life.
I wonder who has the most wrongs,
the people being ill hoping, loving and caring for the world,
or the psychiatric field that dont hope and dont look for a cure.
Only medication and no developing talk with aa good psycholog.
I have not talked to a psycholog in years.
So i talk to myself.
I find this the only sane solution
but it is looked upon as something that they diagnose.
I believe there is hope.
That you can change in loving surroundings that cares for you're mental health and protect you.
That gives you good physical treatment and not break it down.
That there one day will come someone that look with it all with new eyes and a loving heart.
Someone that sees you're potential to be the person you are born to be.
Live in love.
Everyday gives you new thoughts.
Seek out to what nurses you.
Life is hard in periods and you handle them better with seeking to healing nature, people and animals.
lørdag 23. juli 2016
fredag 22. juli 2016
It Is A Beautiful Sunset
It is a beautiful sunset here. The sun is all red, it dont show in the picture.
But i did as good as i can and sometimes that is enough.
I went out to see after Buster and Ted,
they are doing fine in a little barn here
and has eaten and been drinking.
But they are shy of nature.
They are used to be outside from the place where they lived before.
I go to bed with an impression that i saw the sun in a way i have never done before.
And mental healing is possible for all.
It was beautiful.
Good Nutrition Saves Me Out
To change the nutrition and take vitamin and mineral nutrients is good for the whole body.
I got this nutrients delivered in the mail today and it is
" Flex "
from the company Vitamail.
I got better in my head and in my jaw to take this nutrient.
It is containing several ingredients.
It is good for the muscles and the bones.
I am kind and on the look for two little kittens on the run.
Try to find out what nutrients are the best for you.
Read and discover what you're body needs.
And go to a doctor to take a blood screening to find out if you lack any vitamin, minerals and that you're hormon level is in balance.
I am doing great.
Always remember that bad days go over and that good days will come to you.
Buster And Teddy Is On The Run
Yesterday it was very hot here of the summer. It was nearly 30 degrees. I stayed inside the whole day and sat at my front porch in the evening.
The kittens Buster and Teddy was very calm and slept all day.
They have turned the clock around and is sleeping at the day and stay up at night.
I went to bed at 23 : 00 and was listening to the noise of kittens playing.
I fell asleep, and in the morning when i woke up i discovered that a window was open, and that the kittens were gone.
I went out looking for them, and could not find them.
I think they have hidden in the barn, so i have put out food for them.
Kittens do not walk far from the house,
so they must be around here somewhere.
It is summer weather so they will do fine in the barn.
I am so sorry this happened.
I sit outside and relax and look for Buster and Teddy.
Tomorrow if i can't find them, the woman i got the kittens from will come out to the farm to see if they come out from the hiding place they are in.
It is a very calm place this, with little traffic and the kittens are nearly four months old, so they will manage i got told by the woman i got the kittens from.
torsdag 21. juli 2016
onsdag 20. juli 2016
tirsdag 19. juli 2016
Teddy Is Here And Two Brothers Are Together
Today i woke up early, but went to bed again after side effects of the medications that makes me tired.
I cleaned the house yesterday and tidied up all when i got up to bring Teddy to us.
The little kitten will be called just " Ted " and is Busters brother.
They are a bit shy, but Teddy was not scared of me when i went to bring him home to us.
He was cosy, relaxed and not afraid.
He was very secure at his new place at the farm.
And when they are big enough i bring them to the stable.
I plan to buy a horse for myself.
Teddy went around in the living room and did not create as much fuzz as his brother Buster does.
This night Buster woke me up several times,
but i also woke up of side effects of the medication.
My jaw hurt a lot.
I have been together with a friend
and also been to the beach.
The kittens are secure and walk a little bit around.
But they hide a lot.
They are shy by nature.
I am kind and give them the best food that is to be bought for two kittens.
Happy is at the farm ( the budgie )
and Teddy looked a lot at her.
But she has a safe cage.
Teddy lies in the living room and blinks to me calm with his eyes.
It looks like he has peace of mind.
It is calmer here than in the city where they lived.
They will have a good cat life at the farm.
mandag 18. juli 2016
Broken Down And Still Running
I have had family on visit today and told them how much i hurt after psychiatric treatment.
The mind problems are not healed by people playing games with you.
And i wonder where is the love.
The truth is that i hurt in my soul today.
I have functioned bad because of side effects of medication.
I feel broken down
and that there is not a future for me to take hold around because the treatment has made me scared of people. I fear people more than pain as Sivert Høyem sings in
" Sleepwalking Man. "
I pray all the time for hope.
That there will be a change in the psychiatric field
that build up people stronger than before.
It is possible with trust and a good caring dialog.
How come so many dont like the treatment ?
Because people know very little of the mind.
It works good with love and good nutrition.
And a body that functions.
Honestly so is my experience that the psychiatric treatment is worse than it was in 2002.
I am a big question and think a lot on how to change my life.
I live beautifully and has had visit of a little angel today.
My aunt child.
Buster came out from his hiding place to say hello to her,
but went back under the bed after a short time.
She was going around in the house singing, and it did me good.
As long as there is children there is hope.
Others kindness and joy can set new impressions in you and i found hope.
But i am depressed.
I am cluttered of PTDS of the treatment and very slow in my thinking.
I hope that someday there will be a place for me to go.
I wonder a lot about taking a walkabout.
Just to let go of the past and met myself.
I have washed the house today and the clean smell made me relax.
The family brought presents to Buster
and Happy is back.
My budgie.
She sits and sing.
I dont know what i should have done without the animals.
They make me find meaning in every day even if it is hard.
I am very kind but have to meet a struggle because of my injured neck.
I have neck problems and can't ride other than secure horses.
We went to the horses today and my aunt child had a good time with the white arabian.
She was very kind to her.
And Ryvar the north land horse wanted to have me all for himself.
He holds all the horses away from me.
Even if i am broken down i am still running and making caring around me for myself.
But i search for a way out.
It is time for me to live peacefully.
I have to create a place in my mind for hope
and see that dreams did come true even if i have been through a hard time over years.
It change people.
I have changed to more understanding of other peoples suffering.
And i live good.
But bad days can occur.
I just had one today.
I hope the night chase my blues away.
I hold on and find courage to go on knowing that there is angels around us
and that love and kindness do exist.
I hope if you are suffering that you find hope to go on
and live in the hope that life can change to the better.
Dont give up.
I dont.
When Things Go Wrong
The road is long for us,
and so it shall be.
Every moment in our life is precious.
But things can go wrong.
Dont give up !
There is a right way
in listening to you're heart.
Reality can be brutal
and make us wonder about the meaning ?
The truth will tell you that you are a person worth loving.
In all that you are.
You dont need to be perfect,
but be you.
If people tell you criticism,
just step back.
Knowing that it is not you're reality.
God loves you no matter how we are,
and gives us hope.
That the sun always shine,
even behind clouds.
Love you're life.
søndag 17. juli 2016
The Secret Of The Moment When Life Is Hard
Some days can meet you with suffering and problems.
Life is not easy.
In a while it can be easy, but problems will meet us on the way.
I have problems with a jaw and it is very painful side effect of the medication and get me into blues of suffering that could have been prevented if the doctors listened to me and my health experience and how my body function on medication.
But i dont give up.
In all this i have managed to have a day with presence for the moment.
I have been together with me and felt how i feel in accepting peace around my suffering.
I have been on visit and had strawberries and vanilla sauce.
A taste of summer.
I eat regularly every third hour and always when i am hungry.
And it is very healthy food.
Fruit and oatmeal and a lot of water.
I got out to the farm my bicycle today so i can go further on my adventures here on the little island.
The garden stands with flowers and i have photographed them and brought in a bouquet of flowers for the living room.
It helps to keep the house tidy and clean.
The secret of seizing the moment is to let go and live in acceptance.
To not always be on the run from emotions.
At once you let go and dont hide from yourself you will reach inner peace and joy,
even in hard times.
In my living room i have lighted a candle with smell of vanilla and ginger and placed in front a book i have had since i was a teenager.
It is a book about Lipizzaner Horses
and i never let go of the dream in owning one.
It is really work horses and not the best dressage horses.
I will use the one i buy when i can afford one to therapy riding,
because it is peaceful and stable horses.
I live this day with peace, and humor over my kitten Buster.
He play hide and seek with me and is very sneaky around in the house.
Today he has not made noises and is more safe.
He eats and drinks well
and still hide away from the camera.
I hope you find balance in you're life
and rest for you're heart,
so you can recover and get up for a life filled with adventures.
But in all ages we need to rest and recover.
And seize the day in finding beauty and peace
together with dreams around you.
lørdag 16. juli 2016
The Mental Game
All my life i have lived by the sense in me to seize the day.
Every moment of truth was reviled to me as a treasure from God.
I got the sense of a higher power than myself as a child of playing in the nature.
I have never played games until i learned that people play mental games in 2012.
I got a hospitalization where i got isolated for several months and i started to play role plays to the health care workers to make a statement that i was in this world for love and saving people.
I really can't understand the destruction of me or other humans in the psychiatric units.
The game people play makes winners and losers.
The patients is always the loser in a unit where mental games and tricks are being played.
It is not nursing.
It is not a doctors oath.
It is not the field of an assistant.
Caring is for the honest people believing in that humans can heal.
Is it not therefore you take a study as a health care worker ?
To save and protect life during all stages of a humans life ?
I wonder a lot ( Buster is coming out of his hiding place behind the coach and looks at me now )
...
People do understand kindness and to have been filled with resources and they are being covered up with medication that really dont help.
Have you ever asked yourself why so many patients refuses medication ?
They know their body and sometimes need help to understand life.
To hold a person in a unit for three years without telling the person about what is going on in the outside will create a diagnose.
My diagnose is created by health care workers and doctors.
I still live.
Slowly.
Not with stamina and the sense of well being.
I have not felt that in years.
I miss the reviling sense of freshness in the shower, i have not felt that in years. Because it is taking a lot of will power to move and nurse the body.
How come they have destroyed a capable nurse ?
With ideas that can change health care to the easier, better and more proffesjonalisty.
It is a sad story.
About people playing games.
And people who dont know the meaning of life.
In there faith in what is to be the best
they play.
Trick you mentally in you're most vounerable.
To heal from mental crisis you need caring people that understands the nerve system and the effect medication has.
You can never guess what a human think.
I have been treated by people thinking they are mind readers and written in my journal about what they think i have been thinking.
I am in contact with myself now, because of the kitten Buster
and the horses.
Life heals from mental game and picture manipulation by changing the scene in life.
And by not playing mental games to get others to loose...
it is not kind
it is not love.
How do you think a child will live if their family trick them mentally and plays games with them ?
It destroys them.
But some children react with strength and learn to not play.
But to visualize.
To see the future of what is to be for themselves and the world by never letting go in prayers and God.
To know the difference between right and wrong and to live a fulfilled happy life and make good friends.
What happenes if you win the first prize and nobody wants you to have it ?
Because it is social high goals and money.
( Buster tells me to let go )
Well...
they start to play games.
It is like poker.
But i waited in patience to find friends that dont play games
but is honest and want you to live.
It takes only one such good friend.
I have that now.
We dont play games,
but give each other strength with the love from God.
Even if we can't fint heaven... i walk through hell with you.
Before Bed Time - A Litle Mile
I have walked a little mile to get fresh air and give the horses bread before i go to bed.
This is Ramona the Norwegian Fjord Horse and an white Arabian.
I dont know the Arabians name, but she is very beautiful.
It is a rainy and windy day here on the islands and it is nothing that reminds me of summer. But in one way i dont miss the summer taking care of the kitten Buster.
Buster is doing good and is relaxing under the bed and comes out to eat and drink.
He is safer, but last night it was like having a baby in the house crying after his grandma and mother.
Busters mommy was ready to let him go, but the grandma was not.
Grannys can be the best when parents fail out.
Everything is okay here, even if life gives me some problems and i hurt in the body of side effects of the medications. I have had to take pain relieving medication today. I dont like to use this, but i had to the pain was to intense. But i survive.
I am so happy to live as beautiful and relaxing as i do now, and to tell the honest truth, it is the most normal place i have ever lived. But of psychiatric hangover i have to remind myself of the presence of coastline, beach, horses, cows, dogs and cats.
I think when i get more peace i will find the true happiness in life.
I am happy now.
So if you have had a bad day, remember yourself on that it can change fast.
The Heartache Is Healed By The Scene
My slow walks go in beautiful coast scenery from a little island.
I walk everyday for 30 minutes, i dont manage so much more. But i know there is a will in me to survive.
Sometimes it is hard to understand other people and all that they can do.
But as long as you remember that the world is a beautiful place that welcomes you no matter what has happened. This picture is taken from the pastures around the farms where i live, and it gives me peace to breathe the open air and just forget and walk on.
There is always a understanding to find in the future of letting pain go and heal by the nature.
Buster Is Doing Fine
Buster is settling in better now.
He is not so scared and at night he goes around on adventure over the whole living room.
He eats and drinks well and has a lot of appetite.
This night he made a lot of noises and wanted to get into my bed, but he did not dare to do this.
The good news is that his brother is coming to live with us.
We are going to take him home to us the coming week.
His brother is a very safe kitten and i guess Buster will get out of a lot of nervousity to have his brother here.
I am kind and Buster knows this, but i guess he has street cats in his genes that is living in the wild.
Buster has found a secure place under my bed where he has a soft blanket and he sleeps there.
Buster is doing fine.
fredag 15. juli 2016
How To Keep Blood Sugar Under Control
I have always lived healthy on a little money. It is possible to keep a good diet with little money.
Today i walked to the store in my slow motion tempo of medication.
But i change my life to the better every day after i found out that i suffer from hypoglycemia ( low blood sugar ). Hypoglycemia can give you mental problems and i get anxiety and stress of not eating enough food. I have doubled my intake of food since i found out that i have hypoglycemia, and the result in this is that my metabolism is higher and i have gone down two kilos in weight.
I bought food for this weekend. It is not the Michelin cooking.
It is easy food when you dont have the strength in you to stand in the kitchen for hours.
I have bought sweet milk, kefir milk, oatmeal, bananas, water melon, eggs and raspberry.
I also bought a chocolate powder for milk to have in the kefir milk if i want something sweet and good.
I eat every third hour, and sometimes it is not enough. My blood sugar goes down anyway. But i measure the blood sugar often and get my mind in a better shape and peace in my body.
I also get the vitamins and minerals i need and feel better already after kefir milk, oatmeal and raspberry.
Change you're life with healthy eating that dont cost a fortune.
You can end up in better shape than you ever has been after a few days.
We Are All In It Together - Disaster Psychology
Today terror striked in Nice and i reacted to it with grieve.
It is easy to feel such terrible things happening is not real.
It is hard to take in and i pray for Nice.
There has to be a way out of the terror so people can feel safe and enjoy life.
We are in it together.
Terror can strike no matter where you are and you have to face this.
Today i took back a book about " Disaster Psychology ". I read it as a nurse student and the book is good. The author Atle Dyregrov is writing good and understandable about the things in life that is hard to understand and we all can develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder if we are in danger or experience something terrible.
But there is a way out.
That people search together and talk about the traumatic incident.
Terror makes reactions all over the world.
We have to stand together and face the danger with continuing living the life we want.
I hope there is a way out of this war against terror that peace caring work will be founded all over the world. And we have to start with ourselves.
It we change with an attitude towards peace that will be understandable for all the world terror can go away.
We can't afford to loose anyone in this war.
Follow you're heart and help the ones reacting to what has happened with taking care of them and listen to them. It makes the feelings controllable.
With all my love and peace to the tears i cry for all involved in the terror in Nice.
torsdag 14. juli 2016
Buster Told Me Something
I have researched the whole evening and had an interesting time.
I study hypoglycemia ( low blood sugar ) and what has happened to me and others.
I have gotten a lot of experience in the mental field.
I have found out that i am not educated as a nurse yet, since there is always something to learn and the creation of a nurse takes a lifetime.
The ICD - 10 the diagnostic book for doctors and medical workers need an update.
People are not the same and comes with a different life story, and all is interesting.
You can get a pretty hilarious and adventures life in the psychiatric units.
Dont give up if you are a patient or is relative to someone suffering.
There is always hope.
Buster the kitten has slept and listened to all i have studied on youtube.
He told me with noises that :
" Now is the time to stop for the evening, i dont like all this. "
He is kind but shows temper and will.
The most frightful of bought people and animals can become the strongest with right behavior, covering of needs and with love and care.
Buster wants now to relax and i think also i need that.
I laughed a lot at the kitten
but i got a bit scared that he would bite me because i know he is hungry.
Behavioral problems can occur when you are hungry and have hypoglycemia.
I know this also from horses.
There has to be found a middle road.
Buster leads me and tell me now that all is okay, i have turned off the sounds.
I am very kind and know that it all was discovered in 1935,
so what has happened ?
The health field has to look through their examination of patients.
I have earlier written to
World Health Organization ( WHO )
about a sceme for doctors that interview the patients in kindness ( as it should be to be a doctor ) and find out what is the real problems. It is a data screening interview that is not dangerous and a hidden cause. I did not get information that i went through screening and they did not talk a lot to me, so the test is wrong.
Have hope.
There is much to learn still and the answer can lie in bad nutrition.
Eat well and have peace of mind.
I am going to bed and is joyful over having companion in Buster the kitten.
Sometimes the animals can show you the way.
It is healing and makes you're mind go off the problems you have.
Have an adventurous life
but remember to take timeouts and find peace.
Buster Is Safe In His New Home
Buster has found a space in the house where he is safe.
It is under my bed and together with my one piece in flece. He has something soft and kind and there is the smell of me.
But he dont dare to walk around in the house yet, but he is doing better,
and comes out of his hiding place to eat, drink and go to the toilet.
The owner told a friend of mine that Buster has been nervous all his life, and i think it is sensitivity and thinking over the world. Cats have a personality and is clever minded.
I just sit here and play soothing music to Buster and write in a novel,
i have had late dinner and is drinking coffee.
I sit in my pyjamas and just enjoy that i reached the life i wanted.
I did not want to be a nurse when i was educated because of all the lack of money to give the best nursing a human is capable to give. Nurses must reach perfection in their work, because there is not room for mistakes. They have to know their responsibility and the knowledge in treatment.
I wanted to be a writer and live on a farm.
By some miraculous steps i got the life i wanted.
I just have psychiatric hangover.
I have been treated for a long time and is patterned by this in my mind and need to work myself out to a natural life on a farm with animals.
I am happy and at peace and know that all mental illness can be healed.
Have hope and hold on.
Buster is safe and is sleeping now.
How A Cat Can Change You're Life
Buster is settling in here at the farm.
He is going to have a work here at the farm and that is to keep mouses away in the winter.
He has plenty of time to grow to the winter.
It is important to me to think that he is a little soul in this large world and he does not respond good in going away from his mother and brothers and sisters.
I am looking for one kitten more. I want Buster to have company and if i go to hospitalization he will not be alone.
A friend of mine has Busters sister and they will meet and we will take turns on watching them when we go on vacation.
A cat can change you're life. They are social when they are secure and give you love and healing.
Last night i sensed that Buster was very scared, but i did not look him up because i thought he came to me when he was feeling up to it. But he was stucked between a shelf and the closet wall.
He got safer when he got help. He understood that i am nothing to fear.
To discover the world together with a kitten is cosy and nice and make you're thoughts go other ways than the problems you might have.
Buster sense that i am not all well, i understand this but i am in capacity of taking good care of him. He is not aggressive but run away when he is scared.
A cat in kitten hood is someone who must learn the language of humans. He has lived in the city and his mother is a street cat with a home and she was kind but shy. So i guess there is in the nature of Buster to be shy. I have to focus all my thoughts on the little kitten i have here and it makes me relax and not think of negative things.
I know that if Buster accepts me we will have a great time.
My cat " Staale Steel " nursed me when i got bad periods and he laid on my chest to keep me secure and make me focus on my breathing.
Cats are sensitive animals that needs to be taken good care of. And i love to have Buster here. I am thinking a lot about the future together with him and how our journey will be.
For me it will be a journey of healing from sorrow and let the past go.
I have grieved over " Staale Steel " that was a cat that talked and loved me and the smell of smoke and teached me about kindness and patience.
Buster has stamina to hold on in what he believes in.
And i hope this little cute kitten soon will feel safe.
But as i read it can take weeks.
I am relaxing and will try to get a good picture of Buster when i find him in the right spot.
He is colored white with beige spots and is very cute.
I will write about my journey and knows that cats can give you a second chance.
Busters First Night At His New Home
Buster had a hard day yesterday. He got trapped in a closet between a shelf. It was so dark there that i did not see it before i lighted him with the smartphone. I was so sorry for him. He was standing with his two feets down and rest of the body up against the wall. He had been standing like this for hours.
I have had cats before, but never a so scared one before. I read that it can take weeks to get the cat secure to his new home. And i am willing to take the time, because it do me good to have someone in the house. After i helped Buster out of the shelf he got more secure on me. He walked a round in the house to find a better hiding place, he walked on scared feets. I was so sorry for this. I stayed up with him until 02:00 AM and then i went to bed.
During the night he started to make noises and was crying. I got up and talked to him, and he stopped making noises. I fell asleep and during the night Buster has bought eaten and went to the toilet.
It made me happy.
It will be fun to get to know Buster and see his personality when he gets more secure on me.
Usually cats find that very fast with me.
I will be back with pictures once i get one of Buster.
onsdag 13. juli 2016
Have No Fear Buster Is Here
My new companion is " Buster " a twelve weeks old kitten.
He is very shy and a bit scared in his new home but he manage well.
He has hidden in a closet and he dont trust many people.
But i think we will be well off in a few hours.
I will be back with photos of him when i get to take a picture of him.
Something tells me that this kitten is intelligent and it takes a little time to get to know him.
He managed well in the car on the way to the farm and i was so happy that it felt like christmas eve.
I talk gentle all the time to make Buster safe and comfortable in his new home.
I have been to the city today and bought more drawing books and a watercolor book.
I am off to paint and play relaxing music to the little angel i have here.
The ones that think the most has often most fear.
The solution is to not think so much but try to stay in the moment with good impressions.
We are born with fear and survival instinct and Buster is a patient kitten that tries to wait for his mother. She saw us well off and was very kind towards me. She accepted me taking Buster with me.
Now it waits a country life for Buster.
I will be up for more.
The Road To Healing
I live on a farm by a beautiful beach and walk everyday.
It keeps me in this life with a good attitude that all can be healed.
To walk in beautiful landscape gives you good mental impression and can work better than hospital units for psychiatric treatment.
This walk i take everyday and i walk only two miles now. I dont have the stamina to walk any further.
But it is said that 30 minutes of exercise is enough.
I walked for hours earlier with my dog and has been in very good shape.
The road to healing is by lowering down you're goals and see that a life in peace shapes around you.
I love the smell of flowers, grass and the farms.
It gives me the meaning that there is a different life than the suburb life to the city.
Here is very beautiful and i heal mentally by taking this walk to the horses and the cows every day.
The road to healing is found in acceptance and to discover you're problems and do something about them.
I have discovered that i suffer from hypoglycemia ( low blood sugar ) and i get mental problems if the blood sugar is low. I eat every third hour and that keeps me well balanced mentally.
Never give up and find you're road to healing by following you're heart and you're dreams.
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