Rodeomile: september 2016

onsdag 14. september 2016

Rainy Day And Surviving

This is how i look like on a very bad day. The last week has thrown me into thoughts of meaningless that i never have had before. Actually there was little thoughts. I just was very tired of the medication and had no forces left to fight for the will to live.

I got three days of hospitalization, but the doctor meant i was very well. I did not understand so very much, but i realized that i had it better at home.

Every day has a new start.

Today it has poured down water from the sky.

In the morning when i got up i could have taken a shower outside.

But it was cosy to stay inside.

The cats refused to go outside and has stayed inside sleeping nearly all day.

I am kind and fight now for the will for people to live.

I understand that suicidal thoughts is the hardest thing in a persons life.

There is hope for all.

More people die of suicide each year then of terror.

It shocked me to find this out,

and there needs to be put lights on that this is the actual reality in the world.

I want, pray and wish for that people do get a good and happy life with good friends, family and neighbors. It is possible to all of us if we only manage to survive through the hard times.

I have had visit of a good friend today and she noticed that i am better than the last time she was here.

It is good to get adjustment on you're reality so you know you are better.

It feels all right now.

Not fabulous, fun and bright.

But okay enough to say that i have quality time.

I need to get another medication or get of medication and go through some therapy because of PTSD of the treatment i have gotten the last years. It has been hard.

And i dont understand why there is so little to do in psychiatric units here in Norway.

You get a diagnose because of the system and how it works, not on the actual problems you are suffering with.

Life is okay right now.

I go now for a cup of coffee,

and have to write down new goals for my life.

Someone told me to study to be a psycholog.

I dont know if i do that.

But i need to get into more education.

Life on the countryside helps me to heal.

But you are not guaranteed that everything will work out okay if you only reach you're dreams.

Treatment and life is there always, and the reality is that life is hard.

Sometimes that is okay and sometimes not.

But the truth is that you grow stronger of every down trip you climb out of.

Keep on going.

tirsdag 13. september 2016

U2 - Mysterious Ways

Poem : " The Day Before It All Begun ".

Whispers of the gentle breeze

is to hide in the autumn leaves.

Do you remember the day

when prayers was to be held.

Dont let go of the beautiful you.

In the autumn it all hide

to see that generations needs to be protected.

A summer day

in the indian sky

makes you remember the sound

of a horse

gentle enough to save the world...

Go wherever you want

and remember that stars shine at night,

for you to sleep

under the sky.

Fall in love my beautiful one.

In love all the strength lies.

To see you have a future,

in that you dont need to dream alone.

Mona Kristin Roald

Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy (2007 Mix)

mandag 12. september 2016

Poem : " Evening Rose "

How beautiful you really are

is hidden from the outside world.

You`re laughter is like the sun

shining through on a rainy day.

You are like the rainbow

and the water drops on you make you fresh as the spring.

You walk still...

even though you're steps are heavy.

You carry you're secrets to unfold

the mystery of memories.

You hide for the world...

and wake up at nights

for only Gods eyes.

You hold a mystery

that you still are beautiful

and my greatest love.

I feel you're presence even though we are separated.

But every day we grow more,

in hope to see a new future...

with love...

Mona Kristin Roald

søndag 11. september 2016

Life Moves Us

The reality here is that after three days of hospitalization we all in the building relaxes.

Teddy sleeps behind me and is well off and has begun to like the life outside and is curious on what is going on in the cat world.

Buster missed me when i was away and was the one missing me the most.

Today on a sorrowful day on remembering 9/11

he turned me around with letting me cuddle with him for the first time.

He has been without this the whole time here and is the cat that stayes the most beside me when i hurt. I am not alone and Buster is giving me a lot of love and is tame.

The cats are still kittens but has grown a lot the latest time.

I recommend to all suffering to get one or two cats.

They will nurse you, protect you and heal you.

Buster relax of me and like to bite my toes.

This is the best picture i got of Buster today.

Some days away let them understand how important i am for the kittens.

I love them and they change my day on remembering that a little kitten gave me the honor of loving me on 9/11. Life moves us in new direction and tells me to go to bed and let the cats sleep beside me.

It is a relaxing time where they take away all my thoughts for the night with making cosy noises and they think it is the best time of the day to go to bed.

I sleep very well with the cats on a fur rug beside me.

Teddy likes to lie next to my head.

If i talk to myself he slaps me in the head,

and it gives me a good laugh.